Unless you are a masochist or someone who derives pleasure from physical pain you never intended for your relationship to get physical.
But it did.
It started with yelling at each other. They put their hands in your face. You knocked their hands down. You push each other, more yelling occurs and then…bam. You are hit.
Before you know it the two of you are rolling around on the floor tussling. You both get up and the yelling continues, hands are still flailing, the biting, clawing, and scratching continues.
It ends with torn clothes, bloody noses, scratched faces, pulled hair, and lumps, and bruises.
You sit on the bed in disbelief. It is like a horrible nightmare. A few hours ago they said they loved you. Now a new question comes into view… how can they love me and do me this way. Then the most obvious one…should I stay or should I leave.
The obvious answer is to leave. However, leaving can sometimes be complicated. Here are a few scenarios that make leaving more tricky then it seems.
- This was situational…I believe it won’t happen again.
- They were drinking and lost control, they normally handle their liquor better.
- We have a family and I don’t want to split up the kids.
- They are an up standing Christian, Pastor, Deacon, Elder, or Missionary and leaving them will ruin our image at church.
- I am not afraid of them.
- I can dish out what they can take.
- My son and/or brother will beat them up for me and afterwards they will not put their hands on me again.
- I am going let it go and let God deal with them.
- If I leave it may mess up my kids future; right now they are footing their college tuition.
- They only slapped me this time. Normally it’s worse, they are getting better.
- I love them too much and think if I stick it out they will change.
I am sure there are many other examples. The bottom line is this…the longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the more you will be available to the abuser.
What do you think?